versus East Chiltington chronicles - episode #1|
hello Etongrad! - as in Stalingrad etc heading this way
and portending the end of all life as we know it - an entirely new town at the
end of the lane
Zsolt Kerekes -
Editor - February 28, 2021
In the classic Bruce Willis
Earth is threatened by a giant asteroid which has been detected to be on
course to crash into us and wipe out the surface of our planet.
similar has been happening here in Chiltington
Lane in recent days as (despite being locked legally tight in our all too
familiar covid cells)
has been trickling in - sightings of a giant alien monolith which has been
spotted to be on course to crashland a short stroll away in the
The size of the potential splatter is hard to
estimate but it will probably obliterate the landscape for miles around. And if
it does land here then local inhabitants will be outnumbered by aliens - 50
The exact timing and details aren't too clear at present.
the alien contingent is beaming fuzzy messages saying they come in peace and
will make everything look so much nicer. But hey - I've seen the Jack Nicholson
film Mars Attacks
The origins of this armaggedon event are the old old story:- gaps
in the planning system which enable developers to salivate at the financial gain
they can get from transforming farmland into housing estates.
gain on the land alone
And with average house prices hereabouts being
£1.5 million (according to Zoopla
- so it must be true) think how much it would be worth if you built over
3,000 new houses (and that's slimmed down from an earlier
of 5,000 homes mooted in 2014).
My calculator doesn't have
enough digits to show the answer to that without slipping into a display mode
called scientific notation. Now you know why I introduced this post with 2
mentions already of science fiction.
Don't turn away just yet. We're
getting to the truths and facts part.
Truth... The proposed
crashlanding site for the new town is on
farmland which has been
Eton College. (Eton's a long way from
here - but if their
actors get away with this audacious plan the money they make here in East
Sussex is currency they can take away and use elsewhere.)
the new town isn't called Etongrad. It hasn't got a name yet. But I needed a way
to refer to it in this post. I may think of something better.
Etongrad? Think Stalingrad, Leningrad... what do those peasants in East
Sussex know? They don't even have proper roads to drive their tractors on... We
know what's good for them.
If we don't blow this concept out of the sky
then we'll get the concrETONization of
East Chiltington, Plumpton and
splatterings all along the shadows of the South Downs.
Etongrad - or
something equally despoiling with a deceptively
sounding name (chosen by a marketing focus group) is coming this way.
more take a look at the emerging action group website here
don't need Bruce Willis. We're counting on you.
Does Eton own substantial tracts of land
(thanks to past
other locations too?
Having discovered a tempting formula on the roulette
wheel of planning wobbles - will it try similar tricks elsewhere?
It already has done. And more such rural clone attacks may be in the pipeline
for all we know.
Here's one I found today (March 1, 2021) after
writing above about our own local problem -
Guardian article (Sep 27, 2020) about a spookily similar despoiling scheme
aimed at land near Horsham "Kingswood scheme for nearly 3,000 new
PPS - Here's a link
to the main opposition site to that threat in West Chiltington (actually) -
Chiltingtons at risk
So it turns out that both
East Chiltington (in East Sussex)
and West Chiltington in (West Sussex) sre under attack by similar new town
developments on land formerly bequeathed to Eton College.
If I had
known earlier then maybe I would have headlined my blog above something
like - hello EastETONgrad to differentiate it from the other. WestETONgrad -
the sad target of the despoiling plan called by its developers "Kingswood".
Names are important. If East Chiltington is going to be covered in
concrete and dual carriageways (sold to decision makers with an image of cows
grazing on rooftops among the solar panels - that's the green agricultural
urbanism bit) then we need a better name for this infernal scheme.
A competition - open to all residents to suggest a
new name for this Eton related scheme.
To show the developers what we really think of it and to stop them
hijacking the name when we discuss and oppose it. Because if we
using their language then they have already won the first round of their
We can vote on the new names or let social media
was just my kickoff idea as a marker - and I know it's not great. I've been
hearing better suggestions from all around East Chiltington. We also need to
it up to Lewes residents too - as we're in their administrative area and
they'll have to change their maps and signs if it does goes ahead. More on the
competition soon. In the meantime please continue discussing among yourselves
in any way you can. I've heard some fiendishly mocking names already.
later:- July 14, 2021 - there was a
report on Facebook by Adversane community that the site they were
defending in West Chiltington had been rejected for
inclusion into the shortlist of new town locations.
ConcrEton, Covid Asylum, Downsview, Dunfarmin, East ChiltingTown, East
Plumpton, Etonbury, Eton-cum-Chailey, Etongrad, Eton Mess, Etonot Green,
Etonplex, Eton Towers, Great Blighton, Gridlock, Least Chiltington, New Newick,
Quidsinbury, Rurallerton, Wealdtown, West Cooksbridge, Wivelsfield Down,
Editor:- July 2, 2021 - I've
had a complaint from someone in Don't
Verbalise the Downs that some of the so called "mocking" names
suggested in an earlier consultation series - name for a new town west of
Lewes? - are actually too good - and that the deviloper might decide to
use them. So I asked myself - if I were in that devel's shoes what kind of a
name would I pick? And in the new blog I include some reasons. ...read the article|
|Final Spring in
the simple ma££s
of planning gain
inexactly is Chiltington Lane?
Cyclists have become an
integral part of our lane
Other web sites
which talk about Chiltington Lane
- Eton vs East Chiltington
why people are
saying No to the Nolands Farm plan in Plumpton
neighbours you're likely to meet on a dark night in the lane
Have you read about the
Saxon gold buried in nearby Underhill Lane?